Preemptive Nostalgia Through the Eyes of a Runner.

 

Lately everything has been hitting me in waves.

The simple lulls of the tides of life that seemed to be rolling in for months and months have regressed with the shifting of the moon.

Everything hits me in waves now.

Not the simple ones you can jump, no, the big ones that knock you over and hold you down til you acknowledge you are under water and fight towards the surface.

 

Yeah. That has been life recently.

Everything seems so big right now, so final, so unclear, and so powerful. In reading some of my friend’s letters to their freshmen selves I came across the statement, “preemptive nostalgia.”

 

The word preemptive is defined as “taking measure against something possible, anticipated, or feared.”

And nostalgia is defined as a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one’s life, a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time”

 

Is this why the waves seem to be holding me under recently?

I seem to be operating in two time frames.

Both in the business of bracing for the future, but also in the business of remembering and longing for the past. When truly, I’m in neither time frame. I’m here, and now, maybe it’s time to let the waves hold me under.

 

Preemptive Nostalgia, I don’t know what to do with you.

Preemptive Nostalgia.jpg

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