I sit here staring at the cursor on my laptop blinking at me, mocking me that there are no words on this page.
As a blogger and writer, I definitely have some days where I feel as though I have nothing to say. No words funny enough, no thoughts deep enough, and no topic true enough to write on. But isn’t that the beauty of writing?
Some days you have a ton to say and write eloquent and long posts, other days you just struggle to form words. Reading back over my blog, I remember which posts were which and some of my favorite ones are the ones where I thought I had nothing to say but ended up speaking truth into someone’s life with what I did say.
As I sat struggling to come up with something to type, I felt nervous, not peaceful. I am so used to 20 thoughts floating around in my head, whether that be during the school year with the thoughts of “when is that paper due? I wonder if my group did their part of the project? did I finish my homework?” floating around. Or this summer as a wedding planner the thoughts “when will the caterer call me back? did she go in for her last dress fitting? did the linens come in on time?.” Or even as a waitress: “did I remember she didn’t want avocado? Do I need to refill their coke? What did this person drink yesterday? What is this kid’s name?”
There are very few times when I have nothing floating around in my head. Last year in Australia, I began, for the first time in my life to realize it’s okay to not be thinking all the time. It’s okay to zone out, or go for a thoughless walk, or travel not thinking about the future. I feel as though as I left Australia, I left the part of me that felt that peace and learned this lesson there. Now I pray I am able to get it back. The calmness felt when I let myself have it.