Starting back at Penn has been odd. I have a weird rooming situation, an odd class schedule, and am still relearning how to successfully live life in the United States.
My heart is still not here and I don’t know how to bring it back.
I am so happy being back with my friends, am glad I can call my mother whenever I wish, however, the partial emptiness still echoes itself in my heart.
I remember before I left, when I would get overwhelmed and stressed I began to feel dizzy like I wasn’t part of my body.
It may just be because I am not currently feeling settled with the beginning of classes, an unsure schedule, awkwardness in my living situation, and not enough sleep, but that dizzy feeling is back.
I love interacting with people and not having to turn down opportunities to hang out with friends with this fluid and unsure schedule, but feel as though I have completely forgotten how to get assignments done and actually work.
I pray that with the coming weeks my mind settles, my heart fills for this city, and I let go and let God deal with everything in my life.
So with that, I pray.