Thursday Through the Eyes of a Runner.

I breathe in. My lungs fill with that glorious smell if rich, strong coffee. The sounds of Richie Lionel  hum in the background. I close my eyes and sigh, I have a happy heart and my face shows it. Nothing about this Thursday has been spectacular, but maybe in that lies the beauty.

A normal day is how I would define today. But a normal day with a breakthrough. A breakthrough of peace and grace. I am forgiven!

The dim light in this coffee shop makes everyone look glorious, like angels waiting for their call. Waiting for the night, waiting for the weekend, waiting for their call. As I sit here and wait, I wonder if that glow surrounds me, because I am waiting too. Waiting to find out what is outside the door, in the cold of the night, awaiting in New Haven this weekend, what is in the hope of the summer, in the anticipation of next fall, and in store for my life.

Ah, wait patiently I am told, so I smile, close my eyes, hear those smooth notes of Lionel, and breathe in that warm scent of strong coffee.

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Sleep Soundly Dear City Through the Eyes of a Runner.

My cup of coffee steams against the chilled window leaving traces of the life within the heat. My body seems to radiate heat in this same manner, as I begin to cool from a hot bath. Ah coffee, bath, nightgown, sleepy eyes. Taking time for me is so nice. It’s only 7:00 pm and I am already winding down for bed. Tonight proves to be a wonderful, relaxing, restful one.

As I smile at the world below being covered in white pixie dust.

My dear city, I pray you can sleep soundly tonight.

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Reflections on the First Day of Spring Through the Eyes of a Runner.

Let me begin this post by saying happy first day of spring! Now, on to the reflections.

 

As I stare at the puddle before me all I see is a haze. Formed by the lights of Locust, the splashes the passersby makes, and the water that blurs my eyes.

My heart breaks. How can something so personal become something so social. I don’t want to hurt others, yet I have found myself doing nothing but this. I have hurt and been intensely hurt by the best. I have no response but to let it out.  I can’t keep this pain in any longer. So I do. As the rain comes down, it washes away my tears. Even the cold tonight has a sense of renewal. In this cold, wet rain, I am breaking.

This pain hurts so badly my heart seems to break outside of my frail, pinched skin.

 

But with brokenness comes new life. I am being reformed, I am being restored.

This was my last day of winter.

 

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I wake to the light of day as I roll out of bed to finish a Spanish paper and do my secretarial work of managing life. The haze remains over the city, yet the forecast promises good things are to come.

Walking down Locust, I feel a spring in my step remembering whose I am. Ironically enough, as the day progresses, I find this spring in my step becoming grander, becoming larger, almost as if I am skipping.

The sun beats down as I realize, it is the First Day of Spring.

Ah Spring: The promise of new life. The promise of joy. The promise of our Savior.

Adorned in colors, I bound off to share life with wonderful people. And even the silly smile can’t be wiped off my face after I leave this community.

My joy is so full that my heart seems to be larger than my chest and smile can handle.

 

With spring comes the promise of new life. I am being reformed, I am being restored.

This was my first day of spring.

Reflections on the first day of spring.

 

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Relaxing Week Through the Eyes of a Runner.

As my time dwindles to an end, I sigh. I don’t want this week to be over. Living in this fantasy world of sun and time is wonderful.

To reach back into the world of reality seems to be the worst thing I could possibly encounter. To go back to stress, sleep deprivation, and cold does not seem appealing. But why should it? None of those things sound pleasant.

However, I know with my return will come new opportunities, excitement for my future, and a refreshed body. That, I suppose makes it a bit better.

This week has been wonderful.

Full of new adventures:

An Indian Pow-Wow

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Running a personal record of a 1:50 half marathon!!!!

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Coffee Chats with wedding planners

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An interview with a hotel in Spanish

Meeting Cata’s dad

 

 

And wonderful traditions:

Exploring Palmetto Bluff

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Going to the beach

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Pool time

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Exploring Beaufort

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Bike riding

Shopping

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Pedicures

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Relaxation

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To say the least, this week has been wonderful. Now back to reality.

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The Start of Spring Break Through the Eyes of a Runner.

Written on Friday on the plane:

As the plane takes off a complete sense of joy sets in. The flip flop my belly gives and the pop pop that my ears make tell me that it is real.

It is time for a break a retreat, a visit. My only complaint, it is only a week. I wish it could be a month!

But I will make the most of it. Every moment, I will breathe, not worry, and smile.

It will be a gith to not let my worries and imperfect realities set in, but I refuse!

I won’t let them!

Here is to Spring Break 2014! Here we come!

 

Written Today:

We are here! Safe and sound! My travel companion and wonderful friend Catalina and I arrived to wonderful, awaiting grandparents. Then after catching up, we ate a wonderful birthday meal.

We turned in early, because its break and we were exhausted! But turning in early quickly turned into a heart to heart. This is what I love about living, and experiencing things with my best friends, we can easily make a conversation that could easily be surface, deep.

Depth, I’m realizing, is where true friendship lies.

As the depth excited and drained us, we realized the length of our day. We had been up 19 hours! It was time to let the exhaustion set in!

Even my chilly jog this morning was energizing, I have a feeling, most things this week will be!

 

Here is to Spring Break 2014!

 

From one body of water to another…. I think I’ll take the sunny South Carolina!

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New Decade Through the Eyes of a Runner.

I am entering my third decade of life. Wow that thought just hit me. Hard.

 

I am entering the decade where most people find their careers, their loves, start having children, buy their own house, and enter adulthood.

Wow. What happened to my last decade where my milestones were getting my period, leaving elementary school, learning to play the flute, doing my first pageant, entering the grown up world of high school, going on my first band trip by myself, giving my first speech, getting my first job, becoming part of a real team, becoming president of clubs, going on my first date, getting my driver’s license, having my first kiss, getting into college, graduating high school, moving away from home and getting through Statistics?

I feel like the difference between 10 and 20 is monumental! It is so crazy to think back to 10 year old Melanie. I knew nothing it seems, I had experienced nothing. Wow. 10 years. 10 years is huge!

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However, looking back on 10 year old Melanie, I see so many similarities. I am still unsure of who I am and still uncomfortable in my own skin. I still have those moments of unadulterated joy when the sun shines. Yet, I still have those moments of dread when I have upset or disappointed someone. I still look to my mom for reassurance. I still seek friends in everything I do. I still think of myself and fantasize of “who I will be.”

 

However, these days those fantasies seem further away than they did at 10. As I enter this new decade, I feel as though I should know what the future may bring but with every passing hour I seem more and more unsure. I feel as though 10 year old Melanie knew more of what she wanted than 20 year old Melanie.

I feel as though, I may have been happier when the future was so far off, when the whole world was unknown and unexplored. When I was naive to the world. When I only had the dreams and the biggest decision I had to make was whether or not I wanted to go to my brother’s soccer game that weekend and what name we were to give our puppy.

Now, as Charlie, (it was a difficult decision to name her Charlie not Zoey (and yep, Zoey was after Zoey 101…)) the no longer puppy, romps about in her 8 year old body, I look and see a dog. I no longer see the puppy but that she is grown. Now, that is not to say she doesn’t have random spurts of energy that make her seem more puppy-like, however, these days during that spurt of energy I see a dog trying to act like a puppy.

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I wonder and wonder, if strangers see the same from me? They look at me and see a woman, they may sometimes see the girl in me, but only in short spurts. But I wonder if they look hard enough can see the girl? When they look into my eyes can they see the fear, the wondering, the amazement, the 10 year old Melanie?

 

Sometimes I see that in myself. Other times I see the 20 year old Melanie.

I wonder tomorrow, who I will be and what will I know?

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Will I worry about whether or not Cam thinks I’m cute as I flirt in 7th grade Civil Studies? Will I wonder if 8th grade English teacher Mrs. Bond found my essay good? Will I find out where my classes are in high school? Will I know how to pack for college?

Or will I instead wonder about what my future will be? Who God will place in my life to be my life partner? What my children will be like? Where I will live?

 

All I can say is, it’s crazy.